love · schizophrenia · Spirituality

What do you think love is?

14th February, 2017. The highlight in most people’s lives and the question that has more answers than any other: What is love?

I’ve been going through my own churning, with the personal, the political, the social and work at school. The answer to all that churns me arises from what the heart has been acting upon…and that is love.

Love is a funny word isn’t it?

There are a million claims over the meaning and understanding of it.
To my knowledge and experience love is the simple act of courage found buried in our hearts.
It’s easy to love but not easy to act upon the necessary outcomes of love.


Love makes us do things we wouldn’t otherwise do. It makes us look deep within a kaleidoscope of illusions to muster up a kind of strength that we wouldn’t otherwise have found in ourselves.

This strength is called courage. It surpasses all illusions and the heart begins glowing. This glow invades all our fears, purging it by telling us to act upon what troubles us.

But it is not a sacrifice. It’s a choice made instinctively by our hearts.
For when our hearts are hurt and we cannot any longer rely on the subtle projections of our egos we begin experiencing anger.
This anger shakes us, makes us weak, make us immobile, makes us silent, makes us yell, makes us churn, until we get around and do something about it.
But that something must come from what our heart truly feels. The intent in what exist within us will kindle a courage necessary for us to move to our next step. The kind we never thought possible.

Love doesn’t blind you. Love opens your eyes. I’ve read this somewhere! So I know I am not the only one stating that which I believe in.
Love requires courage and courage is born from the heart. It cannot be found in any other way. It is not found in books, in movies, in our heads, in our biceps, in our thoughts, in our intellectual wisdom or in our self-proclaimed understanding of it. It is a wisdom found in our hearts which bear fruits of profundity. This courage is what delivers two individuals in existing together as it becomes a conscious choice made in full awareness of their respective strengths and weaknesses.

Such love is not just limited to romantic couples but it exist in all relationships. Such love is kindled by a knowing that it requires two to tango. It’s team work. It’s selfless yet selfish. It’s a high with a low coming with a sense of belonging yet not ownership. And it can never fade away because such courage when found becomes the light that will always glow for another even when they’re unable to find their own.

Such love is crazy, unfathomable and almost something alien. Alien only because it’s not something that was allowed to enter your life.

To me my madness is the same. They draw me…both love and madness. It is not a romantic notion I’m laying claims over. It is something that has to be lived to be understood.

Happy Valentine’s Day to all of you! Have the courage to love. I am not speaking of romantic or sexual love but the kind that makes our own secret world spin in happiness and abundance of recognizing such love. It’s the best path towards being a good human and doesn’t require any spiritual explanations of enlightenment as love is the essence that already exist within us all.

© Reshma Valliappan 2017img_20170208_092846032

love · Mental Health

Friends to celebrate!

In 2013, I wrote an article ‘On being normal‘ which was the same piece that got the attention of my publisher Ritu Menon of Women Unlimited/Kali for Women.

This article like many of my other articles, statements and talks speak of a ‘friend’.

On 1st October 2016, (after 12 years) the same friend I mention in this article spotted me on Facebook & sent me a message: “Resh, old friend, is that you? It is you! Oh, I’d know that face anywhere. I’ve missed you.”

The minute I heard from her I had to respond! I was boarding my train to Dehradun for work with Project Burans. So my first post for 2017 is going to start with the celebration of a real friend *drum roll please…… Neha Srivastava who thought she wasn’t there for me or didn’t do enough, but she didn’t know that I wrote an article keeping her in mind.

There are many different kinds of people in the world and kinds of friends in different realms. I’ve had the bargain of both imaginary and real. Maybe the real ones aren’t closer physically, we don’t meet ever, we don’t hang out, we don’t speak but they have impressions that last a lifetime. And I rather have these kinds!

Neha, I have not taken your ‘consent’ to tag you in my public post and blog. However I feel the world needs to know that people like you do exist – so that the message continues. Nevertheless, I can remove your name if you do not wish to be known. Until then I am going to be brat and go ahead with this. 🙂