crisis · Mental Health

Life musings towards World Mental Health day…

I’m blogging after a very long time, because of obvious reasons as always! I travel, am engaged in my practice, my never ending work with The Red Door, balancing my art and writing and mime, and god knows what else my alters do.

So last weekend (16th September 2017), Delhi brought me in for a recording at NDTV office for ‘We The People’ on Mental Health which will be aired on 8th October 2017 at 8pm.

Along with the interesting as always discussions and indirect disagreements, the pressing issue and common ground we’ve all seen is the lack of patience and the fast fix attitude our society and youth or anyone in today’s world carries in their behaviour and thought.

I notice it even in my very friend circle. Technology has given anyone & everyone the leverage to send messages, brainstorm ideas, thoughts, chat A LOT, discuss things but unfortunately this creates a thought pattern in the head on instant gratifications and answers. Of course I am no neuroscientist and I don’t use medical terms to state my point but I’ve had to spend years retraining my own brain not just for schizophrenia but with the after effects of my meningioma and having my skull cut open. This I believe as in any experience speaks more as evidence than terminologies and concepts.

Gone are the days where people know what it is like to wait (sometimes for days together) before getting a reply. This actually teaches patience, resilience and respect for the other person’s time and one’s own which are central to how we relate & learn from our environment. This taught us time-management which is also important in matters of the heart and soul, or better said managing our emotions and thoughts.

Gone are the days where if you have an idea there is no one to discuss it with you but you have to use your own brain to figure it out before approaching anyone. Today people can send you ideas, open discussions and shoot across a lot of things but very few truly value it much as before because it is free.

I’m grateful to many old school thinkers & teachers who still practice this while obviously getting hard hits by impatient youngsters who need their answers immediately and if not given one is spoken about badly. I’m grateful that my own masters always taught me to think for myself and not take even their own teachings as the only truth even if it is something that can be experienced. We were severely punished at many levels but maintained respect and inner wisdom to know the difference between a teaching and an abuse. Unfortunately such masters don’t exist anymore.

We live in a world that is forever rooted with contradictions but I’d rather call it necessary change today for change tomorrow. We think that our ‘younger minds’ are open to change, challenge and discussions but in my experience such minds are not. They don’t like to be told anything. They don’t like to be questioned, challenged or proved wrong. And therefore when realization happens through a hard hitting experience, it really hits hard and it is called ‘life changing’ whereas it should just be called ‘life’.

What is it then which is leading to this high rise of depression in India which is scaring the shits out of all of us? Is it the lack of patience and resilience? Is it the fast fix lifestyles which allows us instant gratifications where when unfulfilled leads to depression? Is it really some genetic and biological problem that caused this? Or it is just how such mindsets are shaped by such social factors that they will become prone to such experiences of depression and anxiety?

…sometimes and always I have always wondered which group I belong to but that’s also okay since my schizophrenia has given me another reality to live in in order to survive the lack of another. And I can only continue doing what I do…


creativity · crisis · Mental Health · schizophrenia

Updates, life, Mental Health, School, You…it never ends :)

Okay, so as you all have been following my blog and keeping track I’m constantly stalking time and doing a million things which then leaves me with very little time to read what everyone else is writing and doing – since my eye tends to squint when it needs to adjust to the screen or any light (much like my cats but they don’t squint and naturally adjust to light, since they aren’t victims of technologically advanced gadgets that affect our brains and eyes directly)

Nevertheless, before I share my stuff I would just like to let you all know – that if there is a post of yours that you feel I would enjoy reading and connect PLEASE do tweet it to me so I could read it. I’ve not found a way yet to keep track of so many of my online friends and supporters but until I do – do bear with me. I’ve kinda married to my work and been completely focused on the 60 kids at school.

So here’s one article now published on Youth Ki Awaaz on how Mental Health Care in India needs to change (and around the world actually) cause I hold society as the main support system here. A blurb of it:

My question remains: What are you going to do about this rise of mental health and all of these other strangers in the asylums around the country? They were once someone’s friend, child or parent. Now they have no home and only a place that treats them worse than…( I have no words for it.)


If you haven’t visited my school blog, please do CLICK HERE  there is much to be updated as always in terms of vlogs, writing, pictures, etc. But I only have 2 hands (still) 😀


and a little bit of sudden spurts that happen with me:


(Quote from Alice in Wonderland. Image source here)

Sometimes there should be nothing and no one, she said.
But you’re here.
That’s cause you’re in front of the mirror, she replied.

I fell asleep when she hit the lights.
Now we’re finally together.

‪#‎TheSchizophrenist‬ ©Reshma Valliappan 2016

I hope your weekend is going well! Peace & Colour from me and my imaginary friends.

crisis · Mental Health · patriarchy

Should we rejoice about the MH Bill?

Here is my piece (first part actually) on my response to the Mental Health Bill 2016 that was passed in India recently:

Should we rejoice?

It was followed by another friend who also gave her response too:

Unshackling the Recent Mental Health Care Bill 2016

and then followed with another here:

Favourable or flawed?

AND THEN followed by why I love kids and advocate for them which I posted on my Facebook page (12th August 2016):

“Every time someone tells me a child needs a Mental Health label or even presents their point of view on why it is okay I am going to share this video to prove my point, and an instance from school to back it up.

Today, one kid whom I’ve not interacted with before asked me who I am and where I’m from:

Me: From a different planet
He: Where is your planet?
Me: Outside of the Milky Way galaxy, you’ll have to check the map.
He: That will take me a lifetime to find didi (didi = older sister).

If he knew I had schizophrenia & all the symptomatic ideas behind it he would have concluded I was talking crazy. But he looked at me as a child does, in curiosity – imagination – acceptance – non judgemental.

And those kids who were somewhat aware of what schizophrenia is – have shared ‘but I also see things in my head, does that mean I have that?

And yesterday;
6 other kids who are part of our Anti-Bullying project was asked what is their purpose behind the project?
They: So that they don’t get depression
Me: What do you think is depression and where does it come from?
One kid jumps: It’s a name we give to their problem when someone troubles them and calls them names. Then they become depressed. Naming is bullying.

I rest my case.