Has society made boys emotionally disabled?

What work do you do in school?someone asked.
In short I work with the heart. It’s all about the heart, I said.

In one of our TRD club sessions in school everyone (including the adults) said that ‘We come to school to look for love that we don’t get at home’.

In another TRD club session a student asked our previous intern What is The Red Door? to which the reply was…’The Red Door is you. You become the change, the helper, a better human being and you reach out to others’.

The girls from school initiated their own peer support meetings every Thursdays during lunch. The boys having heard of what the girls were upto showed interest in starting their own but are facing their own battles of maintaining it. Expressing their emotions is one uphill task since it is rooted in the lives of boys and men that they shouldn’t and that soon becomes an inability for them. It becomes their disability which to me is the starting point towards the creation of anger and violence.

Yesterday, one kid tells me ‘Didi, I need to cry. How do I cry?’ and began narrating how the only expressions he knows is of hitting, punching, breaking, throwing, fighting. I left him with a story to think of and ended with ‘We know how to make people laugh, which is great. But we don’t need to make them laugh, if we don’t make them cry. Everyone knows how to make another person cry but they don’t know how to help another person cry. There’s a difference’.

Then another kid allowed tears to fall when I hugged him and said ‘It’s okay. I’m also crying with you’. 5 minutes later he said ‘This is good my anger reduced’. After sitting on the stairs with him and a few friends of his I told them about love, attention, needs, care and compassion.

I am amazed but not surprised that kids are losing this ability to ask for love, to ask for care, to ask for hugs, to ask for attention through what was once a natural process for them. They are asking for all of this but through violence because the adults in the world don’t offer any role modelling and are equally trapped in their own ridiculous choices.

I’m curious to know about others. How many of you can ask for love? for a hug? be open and ask for attention? OR do you choose to hurt another person in disguise of this. Because the latter is dangerous and cannot be an excuse since it is a conscious choice.

3 thoughts on “Has society made boys emotionally disabled?

  1. I have tried this, but each time i try and convey this to my parents directly or indirectly that i need their time and their attention even if i am a 16 year old. But they misinterpret me and think that I am jealous of my siblings. And when they do show care it is suffocating- dropping and picking to and from school, checking my phone and stuff like that-indian parents? Whats the perfect way to tell them that i need their care and not this??

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